As soon as Khanak heard Rishav’s demand for her and Ankan to wait for him, she couldn’t help herself from letting a humorless snort out. She couldn’t help but feel amazed at his audacity to demand that she and Ankan wait for him.
Now, he wanted to come?! Well, too bad, now, she didn’t him to join her and Ankan.
Her innerself mocked her by asking “Who was she kidding by trying to convince herself that she didn’t want Rishav to join them?” Okay, so maybe she did want to spend time with Rishav but only because she has made so many plans and those plans include both of her bestfriends, not just one. She has put so much of her effort and time in planning things according to everyone’s likes and dislikes and all that planning will be ruined now. That’s the only reason she wanted everything would go back to normal and for that Rishav would have to apologize.
What’s ironic is that she would have forgiven Rishav at once if he had seemed even a bit apologetic, even half as apologetic as Ankan was. If he had appeared remorseful for his words and actions after he said or did them, or even now, she would have forgiven him and asked him herself to join them. But instead of saying sorry he was demanding that she and Ankan wait for HIM. As if he was doing THEM a favor!
If she be honest with herself, yes, she wanted Rishav to join them and their friendship to go back to normal and not even because her stupid plans would be ruined otherwise but because his friendship is important to her, he is important to her. BUT she wanted her Rishav to join them, not this unknown creature who has hurt her so unapologetically today.
And she knew that if she let Ankan answer Rishav’s demand then Ankan would say yes and Khanak was not ready for it. That’s why even after knowing that forgetting everything that happened today would be easier, she made herself refuse him.
“You know what, Rishav, we have almost reached India Gate and for us to wait here now will be a complete waste of time. And see, how well the situation has turned out! You didn’t want to come to India Gate with us, you won’t have to. And you always get impatient when I buy things like hat, tiaras or those childish toys but Ankan does not. Now I can take as long as I want to buy those useless things without hearing you whine.” Khanak sounded oddly cheerful, to even herself as if there really was a positive side to what happened today. There was complete silence on the other side for so long that for a moment she thought that maybe the call was disconnected but as soon as the thought entered into her mind, she rejected it. She knew that the silence was because her answer has surprised him, honestly she has surprised even herself and from the pin drop silence in the car she was sure that she has surprised Ankan too. In their years of friendship, Khanak has never outright refused Rishav’s demands. Partially because he rarely asked for anything, and partially because Khanak got a certain pleasure in giving him something he wanted. Well today was day of many firsts, the first time Rishav has hurt her intentionally. The first time Khanak has refused him and the first time she has choosen Ankan over Rishav.
Just to wake him up from trance of surprise, Khanak continued “Anyway, didn’t you say that your grandparents were leaving in 3 days? You should spend time with them”.
That managed to get Rishav’s out of his mind “yeah, you’re right!… ofcourse, my grandparents! Yeah, I… I will… just go and be with my… grand parents. You are Right!”
Those weren’t the words Khanak has hoped Rishav would say. She has wanted him to apologize to her and say that too bad if she didn’t want him to come, he was coming anyway. She could hear something different in his voice but couldn’t guess whether it was the surprise he and his pride got by her refusal or he was apologetic but didn’t know how to express it.
Upset with herself for being unable to forgive her best-friend without him saying sorry and disappointed with Rishav for being unable to apologize, she hung up without even saying good-bye.
As soon as she hung up, she heard Ankan release a sigh which almot sounded like he was relieved. Today’s emotional drama must be messing with her head as Ankan didn’t have any reason to feel relaxed. It must besigh of frustration over both of his bestfriends acting so childish.
Lost in her thought she didn’t realize that they have almost reached their destination. And she suddenly realized that the place she was so excited to visit this morning didn’t hold even a bit of excitement anymore. She wanted to be here with Rishav and Ankan. Without Rishav it felt as if she was fulfiling a duty by coming here. She didn’t want it to be like that. She didn’t want to mar one of her favorite places with the sadness and disppointment she was feeling.
“Let’s go back Ankan” she said, and realized that her exhaustation and sadness is apparent in her voice. Ankan looked like he wanted to ask the reason behind her change of heart but one look at her gave him the answer he was looking for.
Ankan drove her to her home. The whole drive to her home was tense and Khanak felt apologetic for ruining his day.
“I am sorry for making today like this” She apologized and got just a strained smile from him in reply. If it had been anyother day she knew that he would have denied it and said it’s not her fault. But she knew that she has disappointed hime today. He has been the one to make her feel special when Rishav hurt her and she couldn’t even spend time with him without Rishav. How could she complain about how Rishav hurt her when she did almost same to Ankan. In a way he was doing her a favor by going to India Gate with her and she, like an idiot couldn’t go with him.
She couldn’t help but let out a sob, filled with all the sadness and guilt she was feeling. Once she started crying, she couldn’t stop herself and that’s how her other found her – crying her heart out.
******
When Khanak refused Rishav’s demand, Ankan couldn’t believe what he was listening. He couldn’t thank gods enough for giving him some alone time with Khanak. Most of the time he has been on the opposite side. The one who was left out but not this time. And Ankan knew that it was only because Rishav has acted like an idiot today but whatever the reason, result has turned out in his favour.
That’s why when Khanak asked him to take her back, she wanted to ask why. But one look at her face and he knew that she was really tired and sad. And when she apologized for ruining today, he somehow managed a smile when instead of smiling Ankan wanted to shout at both of them that they couldn’t treat him like this. He was also their friend. They couldn’t keep using him to do their bidding. And not notice him when their work was done.