- Home
- The Day He Lost Her
- Chapter 25 - He Can Bear Anything If He Gets to Have Her in His Life
‘It’s going to be too difficult’ Rishav mumbles to himself when he sees Ankan and Khanak talking to each other and avoiding him. He has spent the whole day with both of them and the one thing he has realized is that it’s going to be too difficult. Khanak is only talking to him because she doesn’t want to be rude with anyone – it’s not in her nature, and Ankan, every time Rishav sees both of them talking something he can’t hear or understand, He fears that Ankan is going to ask her out and she is going to say yes.
He doesn’t know whether he did the right thing imposing himself on both of them and their day out or not. It’s apparent that Khanak and Ankan, both would have preferred if Rishav hadn’t come. Khanak, because, obviously, she is upset with him and Ankan because he would have preferred to spend some time alone with Khanak – the girl he likes. On the other hand, he knows that both of them wouldn’t have asked him to come with them had he not self-invited himself and it feels nice to be included in this friendship again, to be included in Khanak’s life again. He did the right thing, Rishav decided. So, what if it seems like she might never forgive him?! At least she is talking to him, even though it’s only for civility’s sake. He got to hear her rambling about her college friend and he go to see her moaning at the taste of Chhole-kulche that they ate from a breakfast place. How could this be ever wrong?!
And if it seems impossible to make her forgive him, he will make it possible. He will keep irritating her, he will keep including himself in her life until she starts to see him as a permanent fixture again. His only fear is what will happen if Ankan asks her out before he will be able to make her forgive him and she says yes. Will he be able to see that?!
“So, are we having dinner outside or…?” Ankan leaves the question open-ended and once again Rishav is struck by the fear that Ankan might ask her out at dinner. After all, isn’t dinner a common event to confess your feelings?! But if they don’t have dinner together then his time with Khanak will come to an end, at least for today, and who knows when will he get the chance like this again. She won’t talk to him if they are both alone, he knows that. She is only talking to him because Ankan is with them and she doesn’t want Ankan to feel as if he will have to take sides among his best-friends.
Before Rishav could come to any conclusion or even weigh the pro and cons, Khanak decided for all of them. “It’s already close to 8 pm, okay? And, I don’t want to push my luck with my mom! I am still amazed that she said yes for this outing”.
And there goes Rishav’s time with her. Then he realized that it doesn’t matter to him if Ankan asks her out or not or she says yes to Ankan or not. Will it hurt? Of course, it will! But he will bear anything if he gets to be in her life and gets to have her in his life. Tomorrow, he will have to find another way to spend time with her. He will have to make a plan that will leave her no choice except having to talk to him.
“Okay then, I will drop Rishav first then I will drop you” Ankan announces and Khanak shrugs as if to say it doesn’t matter to her either way. But it matters to Rishav!
No… No … no! He can’t leave her with Ankan alone. He has seen this sort of scenes enough times. Guy opens the door for girl and they both smile at each other like two stupid people (if the guy is Rishav and girl is Khanak then they won’t be stupid, Rishav decides) and then they make plans to meet again tomorrow and the guy smiles and says ‘it’s a date’. It can’t happen. Even though Rishav has decided that it won’t matter if that happens, he would prefer it doesn’t ever happen.
“NO!” Rishav shouts, shocking Ankan and Khanak. “I meant to say, Khanak is getting late so, why don’t you drop her first?”.
Khanak mumbles something inaudible and Ankan smirks as if knowing why Rishav just reacted like a lunatic.
“You both are neighbors?” Ankan says in a way as if Rishav could ever forget that he and Khanak are neighbors. He has so many beautiful memories of them living so close to each other.
“So?” Rishav asks, he doesn’t understand where Ankan is going with this.
“So, it won’t matter whether I enter the society with gate number 1 or gate number 2” Ankan explaining to him as if he is explaining to a child and Rishav couldn’t argue with that logic.
“Actually, Maa was asking about you just this morning. She said it has been so long since she has seen you” Totally a lie. Rishav’s mother has told him numerous times that ever since he has gone to hostel, she sees Rishav’s best-friends more than she sees him.
“Really?! I just met her that day when I had come to pick Khanak for college. You know the day when I missed my class and I copied your notes” Ankan answers. Rishav knows what Ankan is doing. Ankan is telling him that they both would not interfere with other’s plan of action. “But still I will come to your house” Just as Rishav was about to relax, Ankan adds “later on”.
RIshav opened his mouth to answer but Khanak interrupted both of them.
Khanak has had enough of this bulls*it. She doesn’t know what Rishav’s problem is. How could he just wake up one day and realize that he regrets everything he said more than a year ago and act as if everything is normal and how can he expect her to behave like that he hadn’t hurt her. Doesn’t he have any idea about how she felt that day?! How long it took her to make a new routine where Rishav is not a permanent fixture in her life… where Rishav is not even her friend let alone best-friend?
“Ankan, will you enter the society with gate number 2, please?” Khanak asked, all the while knowing very well what his answer will be. Rishav’s house is the first one to come when one enters the society from gate number 2. Whole day she has tried to be civil with him but she can’t act anymore. She is not a violent person but, in this moment, she wants to hit Rishav.
All her violent thoughts vanish as soon as she sees Rishav’s clenched jaw and his eyes filled with sadness. God, she has no idea how should she behave with him. Why has Rishav made everything so complicated or was she the one, who made it complicated when she said that she likes him? She never thought like that but now that the thought has entered her head, she knows it won’t leave her unless she finds the right answer.
She opens her mouth to say something or do something like apologize or take her words back to erase the sadness in his eyes but as soon as she opens her mouth, she stops herself remembering that if he cared about her, he would have said that he felt awkward or he would have missed her like she missed him and it wouldn’t have taken him one year to come to her and say sorry.
She gets rid of the guilt and convinces herself that she is the who must have misunderstood his expression.
- Home
- The Day He Lost Her
- Chapter 25 - He Can Bear Anything If He Gets to Have Her in His Life