He Had No One
Khanak’s seventeenth birthday:
Rishav was frustrated that day, with his grandparents and also with the fact that his step-father was there standing up for him not his mother. Nevertheless atleast someone was standing up for him.
He doesn’t know why his grandmother always had to discuss their past and why she always has to mention the part that his father had died just few months after his father’s marriage with his mother and only one day after they got the news of his mother’s pregnancy with him.
She made it feel like he and his mother were in someway responsible for his death. On top of that his mother won’t let him do anything- neither talk back to their grand parents to defend his mother nor let him get out of the house, which he really wanted to do since Khanak has already made plans today and also because there are very few times when they get to spend time together without Ankan except few minutes in the crowded bus on their way to school.
Few months ago he would have felt bad for ditching Ankan but now he understood it was what it was. He liked to spend alone time with Khanak and didn’t want to share that alone time with Ankan. After all who wouldn’t choose some alone time with a pretty girl, who also happened to be his bestfriend, over any other company.
Few months ago it was a mysterious concept to him- why did he feel so different with her?! He should feel just like feels with Ankan, shouldn’t he? After all they were both his best friends. But he would have to be an idiot to not figure out his feelings. He liked her romantically. He found her pretty, nice and sweet.
What he liked best was that he could see his feelings reciprocated in her eyes. That doesn’t mean that he needed to act on them right now. After all hasn’t he promised himself to make something out himself __ to make something that week would remain always his unlike his family and most important to give Khanak everything good this world has to offer.
Just as his thoughts were going on a new path, he hears his cell phone ringing and smile at the identity of caller. Talk of the devil and here she comes.
Just as he was about to press the green button, he heard his grand mother shouting. With a sigh he went away from the living room to talk.
Why was only his grand parents so dramatic and over bearing. He knows for a fact that Khanak’s grand parents adore her. She was their only grand child, and also the only thing left of their only son. Sometimes he wondered, what if his mother has been as strong as Khanak’s. Then he wouldn’t always feel like he has lost his mother to his half siblings and his step father. He knew it’s not fair to his mother and his step family. His mother did what she thought was right at that time and he doesn’t really resent his mother’s second chance at happiness- second chance at married life. But, one can’t help but wonder if mother hasn’t done that then he wouldn’t have lost his mother, he would have been her centre of universe just like Khanak is for her mother.
The ringing phone in his hand reminded him of his purpose to walk away from the living room.
”Where are you, Rishav?” before he could even get her, she asked him.
He looks up at the time and realizes, he is already 15 minutes late.
“I am coming, geez!” his envy of her relationship with her mother in contrast to his own c was apparent in his voice, but he knew Khanak would see it as his upset mood?
Rishav went to convince his mother to let him go. Normally he didn’t ask his mother that day she was upset and he didn’t want to upset her further. He was just about to enter the living room when he heard his step father talking to his grandparents. “Maa, why do you keep rehashing past?”
“It’s not past, it’s my eldest son!” Rishav’s grandmother replied. In someway Rishav gets her. Sometimes when he used to see his mother really happy with Dinesh and her new family, he wanted to ask her about his father so he would feel somewhat connected to his father like his half-siblings felt with Dinesh. And that when Rishav didn’t even know his real father so obviously his grandparents would feel sad when they know that the son they have raised had been completely forgotten. But still blaming Rishav and his mother for his father’s death due to some twisted, illogical, mythical reason- that’s not right! Even 17 year old Rishav could tell that.
“then why ask me to get married to your other soon?” This time it was his mother. Rishav wanted to cheer for her. You go Maa!
“I got you married to Dinesh so that you won’t have to live your whole life as widow or a single mother!” His grandmother answered, clearly angry at her daughter-in-law for questioning her good motives.
“and when I am doing just that, you have have a problem?” Rishav could hear the sadness in his mother’s voice.
Before Rishav could go and tell off his grandmother for making his mother sad, his grandmother replied, “I don’t have any problem with that. I have a problem that you both have completely forgotten my eldest son, your elder brother” his grandmother said gesturing to Dinesh, she continued “Rishav was not even born when he died but you could have atleast kept my son alive In his imagination by telling Rishav about him. I have a problem with that! And if I have to use blame to remind Rishav of his real father then so be it!”
Rishav wanted to go to his grandmother and tell her that ofcourse he knows about his father, remembers him every time he sees his step-father and his half-siblings together but just add he was about to do that, his mother spoke “Then why didn’t you keep him with you? You should have kept him with you!”
And just like that the only family he thought he had, he lost her! His mother didn’t need him, didn’t wish for him to be here. He should have just left for Khanak without taking his mother’s permission as he always used to do. He thought to leave without making any scene but his legs wouldn’t listen they were stuck. His mind was thinking thousand things at once and he couldn’t get hold of even one of them except how his mother could say that.
“MAA!” Rishav wasn’t the one who cried out with horror, his half-brother did! Rishav saw his mother and his step-father turning to where the sound come from. He knew that just by looking at his face they could tell that Rishav has heard everything. “Oh god Bhai, you should sit down!” If it was any other time Rishav would have relished in his half-brother’s attention. Their relationship is not easy one.
“Rishav, No!” He could see the look of horror on his mother’s face. Everyone came toward him except his mother. She stood there, her eyes wide open, her face white and her while body shaking like leaf. Rishav could just imagine that he must be looking same.
“Rishav, sit down child!” His grandfather tried to pull him with toward where the sofa is, near his mother. Even the thought of going there made him flinch and he sprinted toward gates.
He truly had no one,.. no one!